The Pop Corporation

Morrissey is routinely awful, and yet, there’s many people who give him the time of day still despite aligning himself with literal fascist politicians and saying ropey stuff about the people of other nations. With all that, many have speculated that Miley Cyrus’ withdrawal from his (next) LP was probably something to do with his political leanings.

He says it isn’t, but let’s keep tabs on the playbook of little fashy sorts while we unfurl this article shall we? If he can be clickbaity, then so can we.

In a lengthy statement (did you expect a concise statement from Morrissey on his own notice board? C’mon now) posted last week, he said that Cyrus had been asked to be removed from his unreleased album ‘Bonfire of Teenagers’. She was doing backing vox on a track called ‘I Am Veronica’: “In truth, Miley has backed off for reasons unconnected to me, having had a major clash with a key figure in ‘the circle’.”

“Miley knew everything about me when she arrived to sing ‘I Am Veronica’ almost two years ago; she walked into the studio already singing the song,” the statement said. “She volunteered. I did not ask her to get involved. Her professionalism was astounding, her vocals a joy to behold. Every minute that I spent with Miley was loving and funny.”

But what of his politics then, if it wasn’t that? Well, of course, he’ll bring those up. Playbook No1 ‘Not the classic liberal‘ scheme: “Although the left changed and deserted me many years ago, I am most certainly not far-right, and I have not ever met anyone who claims to be far-right.”

“My politics are straightforward: I recognise realities. I am therefore sorry to report to some of you that I am absolutely not far-right.”

Sneaky playbook scheme no2 there – ‘I’m a realist/I see the truth’. Anything about ‘cancel culture’? YOU BET! He mentioned “cancel vultures” who “only attack those of whom they are most jealous.” PLAYBOOK SPOT NO3! Lovely crank work, Morrissey. And now, the conspiracy theory of four unnamed men with “prominent positions on social media” who he reckons oversaw a campaign to “destroy my career.”

“At some point, each one of them had hopes of a candle-lit friendship with me, and this did not happen,” he said. “Their rage for attention then took a different turn. They want some form of Wikipedia mention as well as a future personal index reference in ‘Who Killed Morrissey?’”

Classic head-the-ball stuff. The album isn’t coming out for a while, he’s got imagined enemies, nothing is his fault, you’ve got his politics all wrong and The Smiths were shite.

Okay, we added the last bit ourselves, but honestly, grow-up the lot of you.