The Pop Corporation

Believe it or not, there’s still a war on drugs, despite drugs clearly being the victor. Fact is, music and taking drugs go hand-in-hand, whether you’re getting off your chops at a rave, bumping a key a gig, or rolling some fat ones while you dissolve into the sofa listening to John Martyn records.

And the government aren’t into it, provided of course we collectively overlook the rampant alcoholism and cocaine use in Westminster.

So what are they going after? They sticking a pin in everyone’s balloon usage, making nitrous oxide (laughing gas) a class C drug.

The wise UK government spods say that anyone producing or selling it could face 14 years in prison, and this is going to come into play before 2023 is over. What a waste of everyone’s time and a fantastic way of making people criminals. Are we glorifying drugs? Nope. Are we pragmatic about them? Absolutely. Criminalising nitrous oxide won’t change people’s habits. If Suella Braverman was seen doing balloons at a garden party, they’d become so immediately uncool that this would be a better way of stopping people using them.

The Independent Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs advised the government against a ban, pointing out that the punishments suggested are disproportionate to the harm they cause.

Braverman – a dead-eyed individual who is completely untethered from reality, ironically – says that “the British people are fed up with yobs abusing drugs in public spaces and leaving behind a disgraceful mess for others to clean up. Earlier this year the prime minister and I promised a zero-tolerance approach to antisocial behaviour and that is what we are delivering. If you are caught using ‘laughing gas’ as a drug, you could be hit with a hefty fine or face jail time.”

What a fucking square.

Of course, legitimate uses of the gas is fine, such as working in medicine or catering, so obviously, it’ll still be easy enough to get hold of the stuff if you want to feel woozy for an afternoon.

Obviously, the littering that goes on in the streets after a bank holiday weekend is annoying and people getting a bit mashed should learn how to use a bin or whatever, but honestly, when you look at the state of so many sections of society, who really is thrilled that making people’s ability to get a bit high more difficult?

Fucking Tories man. Hideous swine who might do well getting off their heads in a field once in a while and see outside of their own arses for 10 minutes.