The Pop Corporation

Playboi Carti has a new song out called ‘EvilJ0rdan’, on the back of some pretty unsavoury stuff. He appeared with Kanye while he was wearing his Klan hood, on the back of an allegation that he’d choked and assaulted his pregnant girlfriend.

The track is below and contains lyrics like “monkey nuts, hold me, baby” and “Fuck the bitch so nasty, we going Sephora”. We’re not saying these a bad lyrics, but we point them out because, in the comments section of this new track, it seems we’ve got the kind of piss-funny creativity that you’d hope to see in music journalism, but we don’t.

Here’s the song. Leave it playing while you read some of the highlights from the YouTube comments section (below).

• I was a alcoholic, abusive and single mother of 9 but as soon as I heard this beautiful and exquisite piece of art I am flabbergasted. I am now a governor, astronaut and a self made millionaire. Thank you Carti

• My grandma back in 1973 would listen to this song all day. She’d water the flowers back in the garden on a bright sunny day while singing along to this playing in the background. Truly brings back memories

• I’ve been a fan of carti for about 8 years now and I have to say this song has changed my aspect of life so much , I was gonna slap the shit out my grandma but now I think ima do it my dad thank you carti for making jesus music , forever grateful

• This song changed my life. Before this song I was a loser with no friends, no girlfriend, and no money. But since this dropped, I have now have a family with 3 mansions and I am very wealthy. Thank you Jordan Carter for changing my life

• My wife of 43 years passed away back in 1972 and this was by far her favorite song. It still brings me to tears hearing it today

Want more? You got it.

• Dear Playboi Carti, I hope this letter reaches you well. I wanted to share a unique perspective with you—one that spans generations and transcends the boundaries of time. I am a 78-year-old retired Korean War veteran, and I felt compelled to express my gratitude for the impact your music, particularly your song [insert song name], has had on my life. During the war, where the harsh realities of conflict and loss were ever-present, your music served as a beacon of solace and strength. It became a companion that accompanied me through some of the toughest times, providing a source of comfort when the world around me seemed unrelenting. As a veteran who witnessed the loss of many friends during those trying years, your music became a form of therapy—a way to process the emotions and memories that lingered long after the war ended. The beats and lyrics resonated with me in a way that only music can, offering a connection to something beyond the immediate challenges of the battlefield. In a world that has seen immense change over the decades, your music has become a bridge between generations, demonstrating the universal power of artistic expression. I wanted to take a moment to express my sincere appreciation for the role your music played during a pivotal chapter in my life. Thank you for creating art that transcends time and resonates with individuals across diverse walks of life. Your contribution to the world of music has left an impact that spans generations. With respect and gratitude, Tuberculosis Wick. A Korean War Veteran.

• My 3 children all had stage 4 lung cancer, was told they all couldn’t make it to the summer. Once they heard the first beat drop they let out a long breathe and got out of the hospital bed, and have since been making positive contributions to society. Thank you Jordan carter for saving my children’s lives, I can never repay you expect listen to your music for the rest of my living days

• I was weird, broke, homeless, and a starving African child, then I put this masterpiece on and was uplifted from all my worries. I started wearing all black and dressing as a vampire, now I can humbly say that I now pull any girl I want, bought and 2 million dollar mansion, and have a 7 figure job. Thank you to my glorious king Playboi Jordan Terrell Carter Carti for releasing this majestic piece of art

If you want more, or even to add your own, head over to Playboi Carti’s new song and get stuck in. The internet is a really fun, stupid place sometimes and god bless it for exactly those reasons.