The Pop Corporation

Phones eh? They’re responsible for that fun gig you watched on YouTube for a band that never played in the country you live in. They’re responsible for that video where someone lost their shit on stage and made the news, and now we all got to see it rather than relying on someone’s word for it.

People use the torches on them to light up a stadium show and it looks real pretty but, of course, they’re a massive pain in the rear too. People will argue that it’s those young ‘uns who are the worst for it, but if you’ve ever been to a boomer gig, you’ll know old people are just as bad if not worse for filming whole segments of shows, usually with the flash on so it only captures the back of someone’s head rather than the stage.

It can be annoying when you’re surrounded by people ‘not in the moment’ because they’re filming themselves yelling along with songs, but holding a MySpace angle so no-one has a double chin, and it can be annoying to have your view blocked and you watch some of a song through someone’s viewfinder, but for the most part, we all know that phones are a thing, that we’re likely to take some photos and videos ourselves, and that you basically can’t complain about traffic jams while you’re the literal traffic, right?

And so to the legendary Pikes Ibiza hotel – where we’re legally obliged to mention that Grace Jones loved it there, Freddie Mercury had one of his birthdays there, and that the video for Club Tropicana by Wham! was filmed – they’ve said that every day of the week, phones and cameras will be banned, because… well… we suspect it might be something to do with recreational drug use, but also, being in the moment, maaaan.

“Keeping your phone in your pocket and your mind on the music – and knowing that everyone around you is doing the same – opens up a whole world of freedom, not only on the dancefloor but all around Pikes and so, we’ve decided to introduce the policy seven nights a week,” they wrote on Facebook. On Facebook! Christ, that says something about their demographic.

They continued: “What does this mean for you? Yes of course, you can bring your phone with you to Pikes (we understand much of your life is inside it!), we’ll simply place a sticker over your device’s camera when you step through the gates. We ever-so-kindly ask that you refrain from filming or using your camera and our team will ever-so-politely enforce the policy if they catch you trying to snap a cheeky one, though you might even find your fellow partygoers stepping in ever-so-nicely to remind you before we get there!”

“We want you to dance like no one’s watching. We want the very special guests in our booth and our resident DJs alike to feel as comfortable as if they were at a friend’s house party, with the freedom to dance, sing, jump, squeal, shout and celebrate however they like. We want you to find your new best friends, make memories that live in your mind, not on your phone, and experience the magic of Pikes the way it was always intended to be. After all, what happens at Pikes stays at Pikes…”

Honestly, we’re just being snarky and they’re being sweet enough about it. You 100% should be able to have a nice time without documenting the whole thing without any fuss, right? And if someone decided to start punching everyone in the face or some other unlikely but very notable event, it’s not like you couldn’t peel the sticker off, film it, and then sell your story to some grubby newspaper.

This kind of thing is in-line with what a lot of the young people venues are doing during their raves too, with staff on hand to ask you to put your phone away if you’re thinking about taking endless videos and whatnot.