The Pop Corporation

Pop Corps are gigantic Steely Dan fans. Let’s just get that out of the way. Now, Steve Albini says he hates Steely Dan. Time to get the claws out and start bringing up the fact that Steve Albini was in a band called Rapeman and all that, right? Time to outline exactly why Steely Dan are better than Albini and all that junk, right?

WRONG.

Steve Albini is a Very Certain Type Of Punk and Steely Dan are The Absolute Antithesis Of A Very Certain Type Of Punk, so this whole thing is as comfortable as a pair of old slippers. Albini’s entire rant is like getting into the bath for a long soak. Also, you can’t be a Steely Dan fan without laughing at the hate that goes their way – you get it. Add to this, Fagen and Becker as exactly as catty, so it’s all a great sport to watch.

Venting on Twitter (where else?), Albini went off on one saying: “I will always be the kind of punk that shits on Steely Dan.” Fair enough eh? It almost seems cute to read it. He adds, genuinely amusingly:

“Christ the amount of human effort wasted to sound like an SNL band warm up.”

Of course, Steely Dan have agonised about minute details for longer than Albini has probably recorded entire LPs. That’s funny isn’t it? Apples and oranges. He’s not done, mind.

“Three weeks of watching guitar players give it their all while doing bumps and hitting the talkback, “More *Egyptian* but keep it in the pocket…,” he said. “‘Their engineer invented a machine to play the bass drum…’ Did he now. And yet it sounds like this. Look at yourselves. Calling them ‘the Dan.’ Go trim your beard.”

All of that is genuinely funny. That ‘more Egyptian’ bit is a real gem. We want it on a t-shirt, but as a sign of praise. Anyway. Carrying on, he noted that there’s “two types of perfectionist” – “one will prepare, revise and rehearse carefully, with intent, honing an idea to a keen edge, ready to cut the cloth of execution. The other makes other people responsible by saying, ‘do it again,’ until by chance they are satisfied, then take credit.”

“There’s some video where they talk about every song on an album, and each one begins with the not-bald one saying, ‘this song is based on my deep love of the blues, just a very bluesy blues. Deep blues.’ Then lays his jazz dork hands on the fucking electric piano…”

Continuing: “Music made for the sole purpose of letting the wedding band stretch out a little.”

“All you ‘I used to hate them’ people, pleading their case like it’s a natural infirmity. I need readers now, take pills for my prostate. Get winded on the stairs. And oh, I like that cocaine shit music now. Not just Boz Skaggs either.’”

But confessed that “I kinda like Boz Skaggs tho”.

Addressing (possibly imagined) Steely Dan defenders, he finished up: “Okay, my favourite ones are the Steely Dan is more punk than punk ones. Those are objectively the best ones. Just fresh powder pure.”

Absolutely brilliant stuff. This is why we get into music innit? Ranting pointless about stuff, having a laugh at ourselves, wigging out to the Dan AND getting lamped over the head by a Big Black LP. More of this please. We don’t need any rhyme or reason for it. It’s fun when it’s a contact sport.

Besides, it’s one set of dorks yelling at a different set of dorks. I mean, just look at ’em.