The Pop Corporation

Listen, we shouldn’t give Alex Jones and people like him the time of day. However, sometimes, it’s really funny to talk about them, so we will. And REM’s Mike Mills (who, incidentally, sang REM’s best song ‘Near Wild Heaven’) is on one.

Alex Jones has been in a lot of legal bother recently with Info Wars and all that. It turns out he’s got a biblical news channel too (biblical news?!?!) called His Glory, which is pants down hilarious in itself… but that’s not what we’re talking about… on this ‘news’ channel, ol’ Pink Head says that all musicians “pledge themselves to Lucifer” before signing record deals, and that they have to “reject Jesus Christ” before putting pen to paper.

Ready?

“It happened to Mark Dice, it happened to me, it happened to a bunch of other people I’ve talked to — before you’re offered a national TV show, before you’re offered a major record deal — they get you in a room and they say, ‘Listen, we want you to reject Jesus Christ and pledge yourself to Lucifer,’” Jones said.

That’s fucking brilliant. Like, properly funny. Kinda charming too. We might pretend our site is managed by someone called Lou Cipher, and see if we get any heat from the Xtian nutters. Although, we shouldn’t be so dismissive, as Jones also said that he confirmed the whole thing with a record executive in an “off the record conversation”, so joke’s on us.

“You’re sitting there in the meeting in a high rise building around an office table, and you’re like, ‘Are you kidding?’ And they’re like, ‘No, we’re very serious,’” he went on. “I tell viewers that story, you know, 20 years ago, and they go, ‘No, that’s insane.’ No, that really happened.”

Mike Mills of REM has confirmed this whole thing on Twitter, which means that Sam Smith, Madonna, Lady GaGa, the whole of hip hop, punks, Frank Zappa, Prince and everyone else are in fact devil worshipping, anti-Jesus bad sorts. Bloody hell.