The Pop Corporation

Initially, this article was just going to be a video of a very tired, very angry baby. We bailed on the idea, because that one time someone reviewed a Jet LP with nothing more than a video of a chimp drinking it’s own piss was effectively the pinnacle of that kind of thing, and has never been bettered since.

This article, of course, is talking about an imminent Oasis reunion. Now, of course, the whole thing is incredibly tedious and their return is going to see our outdoor spaces besieged by lads in bucket hats and Gazelles, walking with their feet at ten-to-two, having earnest conversations about whether Madri is better than Stella these days. It’s all essentially harmless enough but it still makes us feel tired and irritable.

Fine. Have your fun. Just know that there’s a lot of lads and lasses with flags in their bio who are foaming at the shitpipe about this whole thing.

So what’s going on? Well, Liam replied to someone on Twitter saying ‘It’s happening’. Now Noel has opened and closed his mouth, effectively saying ‘get your manager to call my manager’.

Speaking to France Inter in a new interview, Noel was asked if he understands why everyone keeps asking for a return of Oasis, and he said: “no-one has really come along to take our place.” On Liam’s words, he added: “He should get his people to call my people; they know who they are, they know where we are. Stop talking on the fucking internet, and let’s see what you’ve got to say.”

The journo in question perhaps reasonably asked why one of them just didn’t ring the other: “You would think, right? You would think. He’s got my number, he’s got my manager’s number, call us. But you know what? He won’t call”.

What’s changed? Well, we reckon the Gallagher brothers have seen their arses after Matt Healy from The 1975 called them out. The pint-sized singer said: “What are Oasis doing? Can you imagine being in potentially – right now, still – the coolest band in the world, and not doing it because you’re in a mard with your brother?”

“They need to grow up,” he added.

So there you have it. That’s Oasis there, who might be getting back together. They might not and could just be chatting pure shite. Who knows? Who cares? Loads of people actually. That’s the problem. Enjoy your key when they do ‘Acquiesce’ or whatever. This is resolutely not our bag, but it’d be remiss of us to at least not mention it.