The Pop Corporation

You can be mildly irritated by things. Not everything has to be full blown hot take, does it? And the fact is, while Harry Styles seems like a decent enough fella, he’s mildly irritating us. A couple of really good pop songs and all that, the press run for ‘Don’t Worry Darling’ just made us go ack.

More often than not, we like the sequins and the boas and the annoying conservatives and all that, but lately, it’s a bit can we see something else now please? In his defence, we’re bound to get this with someone so ubiquitously famous as he is. He’s hot shit, so he’s everywhere.

With that, the director of the new version of The Little Mermaid (which we won’t even be watching, thereby making this gripe even more mild) said that Styles was approached to play Prince Eric in the flick. He’s got hair like ice-cream and people fancy him – it makes sense right? Anyway, in a mildly irritating tone, Styles wasn’t interested because he was pursuing ‘darker’ roles.

Like, sure he is. And he did. But gah, it irritates us, very very mildly.

Rob Marshall (that’s the director) said: “What a wonderful guy – but at the end of the day, he really felt like he wanted to go off and do the movies that he ended up doing, which were sort of darker. For a lot of young musical people like Harry, you’re trying to carve your way and you don’t want to be seen as a singer, necessarily.”

“That’s why he was really looking to do something not in the musical genre, to really stretch himself. It was really a fun idea to play with, but in the end, I always think things happen for a reason. I’m so happy to have two young, new people in the film.”

According to reports the soundtrack for ‘The Little Mermaid’ will also feature four new songs, which were worked on by Lin-Manuel Miranda, which is also slightly annoying. Again, Miranda seems like an honest enough and decent bloke, but ugh, just… it’s doing the opposite of serotonin this. It’s all so flat.

Back to Harry, and apparently, he was also considered for the role of Elvis in Baz Luhrmann’s film, which is also pretty boring. It’s also kinda apt too. Like, two singers who like a jumpsuit and make sexy music that’s safe for parents to listen to as well.

And given all this, Harry Styles has even said that he’s not looking at doing any films any time soon, thereby making these complainy tone even more useless and pointless. He told Rolling Stone: “I don’t imagine I’d do a movie for a while – a large part of acting is the doing nothing, waiting thing. Which if that’s the worst part, then it’s a pretty good job. But I don’t find that section of it to be that fulfilling. I like doing it in the moment, but I don’t think I’ll do it a lot.”

Next week: We complain about something we don’t have to partake again in even milder tones.