The Pop Corporation

After starting out in drag (and pretty much seeing it through for his career), Little Richard walked the tightrope of sacred and profane. ‘Tutti Frutti’ was originally about ‘tight booty’, before cleaning it up to be the greatest rock ‘n’ roll song ever recorded. It wasn’t all bangers about anal sex, but the run was unparalleled, comprising of ‘Good Golly Miss Molly’, ‘Lucille’, ‘Long Tall Sally’, ‘Rip It Up’, ‘Keep-A-Knockin”, ‘The Girl Can’t Help It’, ‘Ready Teddy’, and more.

He influenced The Beatles and just about every other musician on the planet and then… well… something happened.

The year was 1957, and Little Richard was in the middle of a package tour with Eddie Cochran and Gene Vincent, and just like that, he told the world his rock ‘n’ roll years were done, that Jesus had called, and he would be following a life in the ministry. Singles and the like made-up for further rock ‘n’ roll releases, but his next recorded album was called ‘Pray Along with Little Richard’.

It was referred to as ‘dirgelike’ and the public were well and truly turned off. He formed the Little Richard Evangelistic Team and preached across the United States. These albums weren’t terrible, but it wasn’t what people wanted.

So what happened exactly?

On the aforementioned package tour, Richard was on a flight from Melbourne to Sydney, and the plane found itself in a little difficulty. Richard would claim that he could feel angels “holding it up”, and then, at the close of his show in Sydney, he saw a bright red fireball in the sky, and that was enough for him. It was a “sign from God”, and he would return to religious music, repent for his wild life, and marry a woman.

To further this, Richard returned to the States early, and heard that a flight he should have been on had crashed into the ocean. The fireball God had sent him truly was reason enough to see the error of his ways. However, it wasn’t a fireball sent by God, but rather, he’d seen the launch of Sputnik 1.

While the Cold War rumbled on, the Soviets were ahead of the curve and launched their first satellite into space, which had the Americans scrambling. However, those Russians wouldn’t have ever guessed that they were going to scare the bejeezus out of the world’s greatest rock ‘n’ roller!

Richard would pluck off all of his expensive jewellery and promptly threw it into the nearby harbour. While many marvelled at the scientific progress and stared rapt at the technological marvel which put to bed the notion that outer space was filled with nasty aliens and ghouls, Little Richard had dropped to his knees while restaurants promptly rebranded burgers and desserts with the name of Sputnik.

It was the real start of the Space Age, and also, the beginnings of Australian divers looking around the Hunter River, looking for Richard’s loot.

Eye-witnesses say that Richard saw the thing fizzing across the sky and yelled “Good Lord, the end of the world is coming!” When introduced to the stage, he walked out in white robes carrying a Bible, and told the crowd: “Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I’m not going to sing for you because I understand the end of the world is coming. I’m going to talk to you about the Lord.”

He would cancel the remainder of his Australian concerts because he needed to get home and get himself baptised. He didn’t play rock ‘n’ roll for another five years.