Miley, the artist formerly known as Miley Cyrus, has a new song about and it’s fine, y’know? It sounds okay. It isn’t pulling up any trees and might sound pretty good on the radio and all that. It’ll probably be fun live, too.

So what’s our problem with it?

See, if you said to us that Miley has a new song out that has a video with nods to leather club culture, and it’s about how music moves us and is called ‘Bass Persuades’, and is a skuzzy chugger and all that, you’d think it’d get your motor running a little.

However, it doesn’t. It’s fine and all, but lately, Miley has been doing things that look great on paper and you wish ’em well, and then you’re just not that fussed about the music. It feels like it should be exciting, but it isn’t and that, maybe, we want to listen to something even skuzzier and action packed like Slayyyter or somthing.

You shouldn’t compare artists, obviously, but y’know. Anyway, you have a listen and see what you think. Miley seems like good people these days, so we wish no ill will.