Geordie Greep went solo after being in Black Midi, and for whatever reason, amassed a dedicated bunch of fans who were split when the news broke that someone had been handing flyers out at his show, calling him a rapist.

He appeared without his band and addressed the situation, and the whole thing felt knotty and gross, leaving some fans to immediately side with the singer, leaving others not so sure.

Greep said:

“Essentially, what happened last night, me and some of the band went out to some bars, we went out, we met people, and it ended up in a situation really late at a house party. ”

“I got the wrong end of the stick with someone who was there, and I made a move, and it didn’t come off. I really quickly apologised, and it was a complete misunderstanding on my part, and I felt extremely bad, I feel extremely sorry, and extremely upset about the situation.

“I would never rape a woman. I’m not a rapist. It’s not how that went down.”

The discourse began, and many sided with the singer, but as ever, we didn’t have the full picture. It all sounded very much like people trying to manifest someone’s innocence, so they didn’t have a tough decision to make with the music they love.

Paste Magazine have managed to get a statement from the victim herself, with the names changed to protect them.

These are her words:

“I am the victim involved in the Geordie Greep accusations. I feel I have to make a statement and share my side of the story, given how large this has become.

First off, I want to say I never wanted any of this to be public. Those flyers were shared without my consent or knowledge. I am very disappointed in the person who decided my story was theirs to twist and tell the world. I just wanted to try and process and move on from a really shitty night, but now it’s all over the Internet. I see people across countries debating what happened to me, hear my friends casually bring it up as gossip, see a speech from the man who assaulted me talking to a crowd about me.

So what actually happened?

Here’s the truth: I met Geordie Greep and his band member at a bar; later we found ourselves with a small group at a girl’s apartment. Pretty early on into hanging out with him, I found him unpleasant. So we talked briefly, but I did not have much interest in continuing the conversation with him. I had also stated that I was in an exclusive relationship and didn’t appreciate advances from anyone there.

It got very late, I was very drunk, and I fell asleep on the couch. I then woke up to him kissing me, and no, not just a peck. When I realized what was happening, I pushed him off of me and called him out on what he was doing. If I’d had a couple more drinks and didn’t wake up when I did, I don’t know what would have happened. But the fact of the matter is I was not raped. I don’t know his full intentions, and either way, his behaviour was disgusting. But he did not rape me, and I would never claim otherwise.

I don’t think that his assault should be diminished because of this. What he did was absolutely not okay, and should be taken seriously. But I feel very strongly that the word rape should only be used for rape. We need to be able to trust when someone says rape. Using that language when it’s not the truth diminishes it and takes away from its meaning. I very much hope that people don’t learn from this not to trust rape accusations, especially when they come from the actual victim. A man who was mad made the false claim, not the victim. I want that to be very clear.

Neither story was fully accurate. I was not raped. I was sexually assaulted, and [it was] more than a kiss taken the wrong way. I just want all of this to be over and to be able to move on with my life. My hope is that he learns his actions have consequences and never does anything like that again.

To all the men reading this, I want you to reflect and ask yourself how you can do a little better.

To the person I trusted who distributed those flyers, to the guys that night who asked me many times if I was sure I was exclusive, to the man who kept calling me hot after I made it clear I wasn’t interested, to the men defending Geordie, to the ones saying I’m making stuff up for attention, to Geordie Greep who assaulted me—none of that was rape, but it was all rooted in misogyny.

This is not to say you’re a bad person if you’ve ever made a woman uncomfortable. Misogyny is deeply rooted in all of us, women included, and benefits no one. This is not to shame men for being raised to think this way, but to ask: how can we unlearn? How can we do better, be better? Almost every man has made a woman uncomfortable in some way or another, whether he meant to or not. Shame gets us nowhere. But I urge you to ask yourself when you crossed a line with a woman. When have you messed up and done wrong? Intentionally or not. Think, reflect, and try to do just a little bit better.”